recently, I was discussing blogging with someone and I told them I have two blogs now, this one, and my other one.
The response was “oh, I didn’t know you were a fangirl.”
Okay, I didn’t really know how to respond that and just muttered “yeah well” and that was that.
Okay, I still actually don’t know what to say that because typically, by media standards, I’m not a fangirl. The fact of the matter is I am a fangirl and I know I just wrote the most contradicting sentence in the history of ever but I mean what I say. In general and throughout media, the word fangirl is associated with woman and girls who do the whole, weak at the knees, screaming, crying and fainting thing when they see a celebrity they love.
I understand that the majority of fangirls get called that because of the way they respond to seeing a celebrity they adore but I can’t help but feel that a portion of females who call themselves fangirls, myself included, would never react in that way. I, for one, would never scream and shout, I am way to introverted for that, that’s why I called this blog introverted fangirl, because I haven’t and would never behave that way if I saw someone I am a fan of.
Yes, I get excited.
Yes, in my mind I am freaking out.
No, I don’t shout.
No, I don’t faint.
Yes, I do have a very quiet mental meltdown and then I walk away.
The best example I can give is the time I saw a Matt smith lookalike, I wasn’t wearing my glasses at the time and I was sure it was him. How did I respond? By grabbing onto my boyfriends arm and whispering “omg it’s Matt smith!” And looking in that direction. Not for one second did I think of approaching him, I would not have dropped everything and ran. I have seen other celebs and got excited about it, but that’s it. Its excitement. For me, I am like…. I just saw _____ achievement unlocked, 50 gamer points for faye, I have lived to tell the tale. It is exciting, to see someone who you love in screen, in the flesh and I understand that it’s the excitement that causes a fangirl to fangirl.
The reason I am writing this post is because when that person said, “I didn’t think you were a fangirl” what they meant was, I’ve never seen you scream and cry over a celebrity. They are right, they haven’t, nor has anybody else for that matter but that doesn’t make me any less of a fangirl.
You just assume that because I don’t seem like a psychopath I am not a fangirl.
Because I don’t have posters of half naked men on my walls, I am not a fangirl.
Because I don’t tell you how excited I am about a TV show or movie, I am not a fangirl.
Because I don’t gush over pictures of Jensen ankles in front of you, I am not a fangirl.
When really, what I define as A Fangirl, is a female of our species being totally geeky and knowledgeable on a subject that happens to be a TV show, movie or book.
Does it matter that instead of outwardly expressing their obsession with something to you, they enjoy it, at home in their own way?
Does it matter that instead of talking about how an actor looked, they discussed how they portrayed the character and how they thought they did it tremendously?
Does it matter that instead of having a shrine in their house of movie posters, they have a bookshelf full of the originals, that are tattered and worn out because they’ve read them so many times?
No. None of that matters to those who define a fangirl by what they see. Because if they don’t see it, it doesn’t happen and therefore, it can’t be.
The truth is, the screaming and shouting fangirls give the rest of us a bad name. A true fan would never be verbally abusive to the spouse of a celebrity. A true fan would never threaten another person because of an opinion. A true fan would never really stalk another human because they love them.. No, a true fan would accept the celebrity they love has a wife or a husband and accept that person has a life outside of a TV show. They would respect that other fans enjoy other things and understand that they are entitled to that enjoyment and expression, whether they agree or not. A true fan would respect the boundaries of their favourite celebrity and realise that they are human too and entitled to freedom, as well as safety, in their lives away from the media. What we do, is buy merchandise and sleep in fandom tee’s. Read the books, watch the movies and enjoy them for what they are, while also wearing fandom tees. We may have little, discreet tattoos
That pledge our allegiance to our fandoms and quietly enjoy them from the comfort of our own home. We go online and connect with people who enjoy the same stuff as us and we write about it, discuss our theories. Pick plot holes. Imagine headcanons, create fan art, write fan fic and yeah, we do it all wearing our fandom tees.
That’s what a fangirl is to me, and that’s how I perceive myself as a fangirl. Just a normal human being with a quiet obsession for certain things. Who discuss those obsessions with passion. Who emotionally connect with a character they may or may not find physically attractive. A girl who sips tea from a tea cup that has a picture of the grim on the bottom. A girl who shops with a tote bag decorated with her favourite movie quote, wearing her fandom tee and a plaid shirt to keep her warm.
I am proud to be a fangirl and openly admit to it.
And to you, this person who shall not be named… Please refrain from subjecting me to your misconception of a fangirl and suggest that I am not merely because I don’t present myself to your incorrect expectation.