Harry Potter. Always.

Back when I was 12, my mum bought me the first four Harry Potter books. 

They were a Christmas gift, when I opened them I looked at my mum and rolled my eyes,

“Harry potter?” 

“Yeah, they’re really popular!” She was on the defensive because I clearly wasn’t impressed.

“Yeah I know mum, kids at school read them!” I was annoyed she thought I was going to like the present.

“You don’t have to read them! Give them to someone or something.” She was done, probably saying ‘ungreatful little shit’ in her head.

I took my pile of books into my room along with the rest of my gifts and there they sat for about a month. 

I remember being stuck in inside and feeling bored in my room and while I was looking for something to do, I picked up Harry Potter and the Philosophers stone. I read the back and I looked at the pictures on the coveres and flicked to the first page and started reading. 

Three chapters later I realised I hadn’t moved for the whole time. I didn’t want to put it down, I didn’t want to stop reading, I was in there. I was hooked. That night I stayed awake for hours, I read the whole book. I must’ve been awake until about 5am because I remember having to get up for school and telling my mum I had been awake all night reading and I was too tired to go. She made me go, told me I had to, it was my own fault for staying awake and reading through the night.

From that night, I was a Harry Potter fan. I read first four books and I couldn’t wait for the next books to come out but it was a couple of years before I got around to reading them. I actually didn’t read The Order Of The Phoenix until the Deathly Hallows had come out. Still, my love for it never died, I just didn’t have time to read back then. I was busy working and I had a flat to look after too. It wasn’t until, I had been laid off work I actually stated reading them again.

I watched the movies and patiently waited for them all to come out. I guess the excitement I experienced in the lead up to the movies made up for the excitement I missed out on with the books.

I owe friendships to Harry Potter. It’s always been one of my favourite things to talk about and discuss. I always express to people who haven’t read the books to read them, they’re important. The books really do have more.  The Sassy Potter we read in The books is very rarely seen in the movie and let us not forget how much peeves made us laugh out loud as we read about his shenanigans, which are not in the movies! The books are better, the movies are awesome but for me, they’ve always been a visual aid. Watching Order of the Pheonix for the first time disappointed me so much it made me angry, the first few chapters of OOTP has so much information in it that plays massively into the story and NONE of it was in the movie! Still, even though watching it disappointed me, having a visual image of a Thestral was good, although not exactly what I first thought! As for the story overall, it was the book that was the beginning of the end.

My love for Harry Potter is passionate. In ways I sometimes have trouble understanding. Here’s a prime example of how much love I have for the story of The Boy Who Lived, 

These days, I am comfortable enough to outwardly express my love for it but it wasn’t always that way. I wasn’t always open about my passion for it. People knew I liked it but they didn’t know that I would spend time searching it, looking at pictures on the Internet, reading about the characters, watching interviews with J.K Rowling, reading other people’s posts on their thoughts and opinions of it. Researching the books and the movies. I spent a great deal of time gathering information on it which only added to my passion. It’s not like that anymore, everybody knows how much I love Harry Potter because I have inherited a Harry Potter family. The Majority of my in laws are Harry Potter Fans, my boyfriend is a quiet fan too, not as passionate but he enjoys the movies and I love that he does. Still, even so, back when our relationship began, they didn’t know the depth of my love for Harry Potter and we all went to the cinema to watch the release of Harry Potter, The deathly Hallows pt.2. None of my in laws have read the books, that’s fine, that’s no bother to me, but for them, the movie was the final movie. For me it was the final chapter, the very end. It was ending. That was it. I knew what was coming. I knew what I was about to watch but I was not prepared for it. Even before the visit to the cinema I was emotional. I hid it, not wanting to show how deeply this was affecting me because my boyfriend was working and couldn’t come so it was me and his family, I wasn’t comfortable expressing that at the time.

We watched the movie. My eyes never left the screen for a second and I was crying at the beginning. I didn’t mind so much in the dark of the cinema, my in laws weren’t looking at me. 

I watched as we edged closer and closer to the Battle of Hogwarts. I sunk back in my chair and watched as history was shown before me. By the time the movie ended, mentally I was a wreck. My heart was broken. I know it was a happy ending but it was the ending. That was it, the end.

Never again in my life would I experience the excitement of the lead up to a release. I have the books, I have the movies, I can go back and do it all again but as a huge fan, I can honestly tell you,

There is nothing more magical than reading Harry Potter for the first time.

The second, third and fourth times are just as enjoyable as the first, but the first experience of Harry Potter, book or movie, is the most powerful, magnificent, awing, moment to ever live in the world of moments. There is no comparison to it. 

I walked out the cinema in silence. It had been years since I had read the Deathly Hallows. I genuinely was not prepared for the visual finale. I knew it would be good, I knew I would feel sad but I walked out of there broken.

I stayed silent on the way home. Everyone asked if I enjoyed it. All I could muster was a yes. The frog in my throat was as big as a toad, bigger even! I was choking back an elephant sized ball of emotions. I didn’t dare speak a word to anyone, the second my mouth went to open, my eyes would brim with tears. I was devistated. My mind was blown. My head was full of the scenes, the book, the ending. The way, for the first time ever, I felt, they got it right in the movie, I swear I will never watch another movie that will affect me as much as deathly Hallows part 2. The car journey home was a nightmare, everybody was talking about how good it was, how epic it was and slowly my mind was melting. I was angry that they were happy. They were satisfied that it had ended and that was okay.  I couldn’t even fathom why I felt so distressed, so upset that they weren’t upset. I couldn’t open up truly to them, they had no idea how much I loved this story. How the way, for the first time ever, I watched people I loved die, in front of my very own eyes! How could these people feel so positive? Had they watched the same movie as me? It was not okay!

I was not okay!

When I got home, I ran to my room and lopped onto my bed in the classic Disney princess way and I bawled my eyes out! I cried for hours. Literally hours and hours and hours of endless tears. I was grieving, grieving for fictional characters that had some how become real to me. I knew the story continued off screen and way past the final chapter but the fact that we were done just tore me to shreds. 

The effect the Deathly Hallows leaves on me now is not far from what I experienced that day. I still cry when it ends.  It’s a reminder that it has finished and I resent my younger self for not experiencing Harry Potter while it was ongoing. I look back and wish that I hadn’t taken a break from it. Since then, I have read the books agian and I have watched the movies countless times. There are days when nothing but Harry Potter will make me feel better. I love it. I am a proud Ravenclaw and even when I am older I will still be watching Harry Potter, because Harry Potter, Always.

If, like me, you are a die hard fan. I just wanted to share this video with you, I stumbled across it back last year and every so often I will watch it again and it always makes me cry. This video is fantastic and as much i like to think that everyone who has ever been a fan of Potter will have seen this, I kind of hope you haven’t because the first time, is the best.

An endless amount of credit for the team behind this video, everything about it is amazing! 


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